I do my Best thinking in the shower

Every once in a while I think about the difference between going backwards and forwards. It reminds me of a day when I was precisely in that moment of thought. I was walking along a pier, nearer to the edge of water. There was a boy there. He saw me alone and asked me to stand with him. I took this as an invitation to start saying what ever came to mind. 

I started by saying:

I used to run along this path when I was in High School, when I was a runner. I hate saying "I used to" because it never makes me feel like I have advanced over time, it only makes me feel further from myself. 

He didn't really seem to understand, but I could tell we both liked being in a movie. It made it easier to be dramatic. So I went on.

I think that's why people need to believe in a heaven, or a life after dying. Otherwise, we'd be too nostalgic. Because all we have ahead of us is an end and it makes us want to turn backwards. 

I knew it was a stupid thing to say. In my head it had already sounded over worked. I resolved to looking out on the water again. It had smoothed out where the ships came. He didn't say anything. He put his hand on my hair and he kissed me.

He was a bad kisser.